Sunday, November 4, 2007

How To Get Your Ass Kicked

Johnny Virgil at 15 Minute Lunch has some fun paging through a thirty year-old JC Penney catalog. Among the wagon wheel coffee tables and velour toilet covers are clothes to help you get your ass kicked in any number of different contexts: middle school, high school, the office, and the golf course being among my personal favorites. Apparently, chest hair was viewed as a legitimate accessory in the late 1970's.

Like Johnny Virgil, Jake and I grew up in a house whose attic was full of this sort of this. I distinctly remember finding an early-80's Victoria's Secret catalog which did not feature a single erotic picture, but which did feature a skin-and-bones Geena Davis wearing panties whose waistline was up to her belly button. Once in a while, that image still comes back to me in nightmares. Of course, we had more than than just the catalogs - we had the actual clothes. My favorite such item were my father's four-panel corduroy pants. Each leg was made up of two panels, front and back. One leg has blue in the front and yellow in the back; the other leg was red in the front and green in the back. The waistband was yellow with alternating red, blue, and green beltloops. I once put on and got as far as like seven feet out the door before Mama Garrett threatened to kill me if I took another step away from the house without taking them off. Apparently, irony wasn't invented until the late 1980's or something.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey, that guy wouldn't be too out of place in SoHo on a saturday night . . .