Sunday, November 25, 2007

This Is Weird On Any Number Of Levels

So, there's a new horror movie coming out called Teeth, about a woman with some sort of killer teeth in her vagina which kills men who try to fuck her. Its such a terrible idea, and so difficult to believe that any studio greenlighted it that, when I first saw the trailer, I assumed it was a parody made by some film students, or perhaps a sketch comedy troupe. As it turns out, its an actual movie:

There are all sorts of easy jokes you can make about it - Wait, you're telling me they're not supposed to have teeth?!?!

Unfortunately, this part isn't a joke: I used to coach little league, and one of my best players was a kid named Ashley Springer. I haven't heard from him in more than ten years, so needless to say I was surprised to find out that he is now an actor and wears a prosthetic cock in a sex scene in the movie Teeth. And to think that I played a role in shaping that young man!

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