Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Want To Go To There

I haven't really posted anything in a while. Here are some random thoughts I've had over the past week or so:

1) There isn't a place on earth where people walk more quickly than Manhattan, or more slowly than downtown Brooklyn.

2) I don't usually talk about work in this space, but yesterday in court I arraigned a guy who listed his occupation as "part-time model." Its entirely possible that the Legal Aid attorney and I were the only people in the courtroom who understand why that was funny. Also, there is a bar in Bay Ridge called the Salty Dog, where people keep getting arrested. Assault, disorderly conduct, violation of an order of protection - it all goes down there. The Salty Dog is Brooklyn's answer The Double Deuce. I think it needs Patrick Swayze to move back to town and clean it up. And if he ever needs back-up, he knows who to call.

3) Last week's episode of 30 Rock, with guest star Jon Hamm, was one of the best episodes I've ever seen. The guest-star thing is beginning to make 30 Rock seem a little gimmicky, but its hard to stay disappointed when the guest stars are used so cleverly, and to such hilarious effect. The "I want to go to there" catch phrase is beginning to stick, even if it strikes me as the sort of "start with a catch phrase, and work backwards from there" style of sitcom writing that 30 Rock ridiculed in its first season.

4) New York Magazine's list of the ten best chocolate desserts in New York City included my personal favorite, the chocolate layer cake from Park Slope's very own Chocolate Room. Just delicious. Unfortunately, it also included Jean Gorges' "warm, soft chocolate cake," also known to comedy fans as the "chocolate mountain thing," which David Cross so mercilessly ripped in "Its Not Funny."

5) Is it just me, or has the medicine ball/abdominal ball thing gotten really out of hand? Sometimes I walk into the gym, notice somebody working out with those thins, change, do some cardio or a few sets of weights, and notice that the same person is still doing abs with those ridiculous props half an hour or forty minutes later. As a general rule, if you're doing the same resistance training exercise for forty minutes, you're not using enough weight. I think that the placebo effect of those fancy props cannot be overstated. If it looks like what you're doing is more difficult and/or complicated, then you walk out of the gym feeling as if you had a great workout . . . despite the fact that 100 or 150 crunches would accomplish more in less time. I've known people who had abs so well-developed that you could see them through their shirts, and they just did ten minutes of crunches every day, instead of fooling around with those three-feet-in-diameter inflatable balls. Medicine balls can be used in great workouts, but nobody at the gym ever seems to be using them to much effect. I get irrationally angry about this sometimes.

6) Chris Brown and Jamal Woolard both have domestic violence charges pending against them. My personal favorite part of this is that Woolard has been repeatedly photographed on red carpets with his wife, despite the Brooklyn criminal court's order of protection, which orders him to stay away from her and not to have any contact with her as long as the case against him is still pending. Its good to know that they take domestic violence seriously. In "Notorious," there is a scene in which Biggie tells his daughter never to let any man call her a bitch. But the real-life Biggie used that word in his lyrics all of the time, and the actor who plays the fake Biggie is a wife-beater. So what are we to take away from that scene? I'm confused.


Terry said...

People walk too slowly in Manhattan.

Paul Smecker said...

it's nice to hear that there is a bar in brooklyn that is an actual dive, and not just a dirty place full of hipsters.

however, i DO NOT want to go to there.

ryan said...

like i said in my not-hit comedy Cruise Boat, i'm getting too old for this ship.