The Onion A.V. Club went MST 3K on the Oscars with a running diary. And it was good. Some highlights:
Tasha Robinson: Amy Adams' giant chunky necklace looks curiously like someone overindulged on fruit and then vomited on her neck.
Keith Phipps: Dear Ryan Seacrest: Please do not greet black men with, "What is up, my brother?" Thanks.
Nathan Rabin: he did refrain from telling John Legend's date that she looks dynomite!
Nathan Rabin: Give him credit for that.
Tasha Robinson: Natalie Portman's neck is 40 feet long. Put some spots on it, and she could pass for giraffe. Maybe that's why she's wearing VIVID PAINFUL PINK instead of yellow or brown.
Nathan Rabin: her beautifulosity is engendering profound existential angst in that E! lady.
Noel Murray: Rourke on the Oscar: "You can't eat it, you can't fuck it, and it won't get you into heaven."
Noel Murray: Walters, in reply: "Thank you, Mickey Rourke."
Tasha Robinson: Daniel Craig is delivering his nomination speech as though he's trying to shoot it in the face by spitting words at it.