Friday, February 19, 2010

emo olympic thoughts

There is something deeply ironic about Chinese freestyle snowboarders. Snowboarding--the ultimate manifestation of middle class creativity spawned from boredom being superimposed on an autocratic culture with minimal parallel structures. I always imagine Chinese snowboarders trundling back to a dorm after a day of training being berated "that was not steezy enough! if you do not increase your awesomeness, you will be discarded!" This is possibly racist of me or at least subscribing to ugly cultural stereotypes. but seriously, where do chinese snowboarders come from? are they part of burgeoning middle class in china? expatriates? products of a sports machine?

Does Lindsay Vonn ski with that much mascara on, or does she touch up between her run and her interview? Is there is schism within skiing over make-up? Maria Reich and Ana Pearson seemed totally unpainted.

Is it possible that figure skating costumes are optimized for viewing at a distance of 30-100 yds like stage makeup? Do they look ridiculous because we see them so up close, but really they are meant to look flowy and sparkly to judges who have a very different view? this would explain why they look so silly to TV viewers.

They should never schedule women's halfpipe after men's halfpipe. the difference in tricks made women's a serious letdown. for some reason this was more palpable than the gender difference in other events.

How do you get to be an internationally respected snowboard judge? What are the qualifications?


Wade Garrett said...

Good call on the Chinese snowboarders - I remember having that conversation with somebody during the 2006 games. I can only imagine that they watched the western snowboarders and thought "that's fuckin'" cool, even when it is far removed from its original context.

Is Lindsay Vonn the leading babe of the winter games, or is it Julia Mancuso? I'm not as much of a Tanith Belbin guy as everybody else seems to be; too much makeup for me.

Wade Garrett said...

Actually now that I've gotten to see her, Torah Bright is the hands-down winner. She could be a model.

Senor Beavis said...

Lindsey Vonn skis with as much mascara as Dick Ebersol tells her to apply. He's making a move as my favorite world super-villain.

What's Mandarin for "Stale fish! ANOTHER STALE FISH!"